One Month

Nora - One Month Old

I can't believe it - we are already measuring in months, not days or weeks.  And all I can say is time is of the essence with this post because this is (literally) the first time both babies have napped at the same time.

Nora is doing wonderfully.  After two weeks in her brace her doctor said her hips were fine!  She now just wears her brace at night as a retainer, and will be completely out of it within a week. When he told us this, I think both Charley and I welled up with tears.  We had prepared ourselves (more or less) for months of treatment, so it was a complete shock when he said that the brace had already done its job.  I just feel so thankful that our pediatrician caught her hip dysplasia so early... if they had caught it any later, she would certainly be in the brace and could be looking at months of wearing it.

When they took it off in the office, she stretched every last bit of her body for a solid 10 seconds, and then it seemed like her personality changed and became bigger and bolder.  It sounds bizarre, but both Charley and I immediately felt intimidated by our sweet little Nora who all of a sudden started to make herself known.

She is a pretty good sleeper at this point.  She wakes up quite a bit to eat at night, but she does tend to go down somewhat easily after she is done.  The nights are long, but I'm thankful that I am not bouncing and rocking the entire time as I did with Riley.  Nora's days are a little challenging though because she really dislikes being set down unless she is sound asleep.  She cries in the swing and bouncy chair until she is picked up, which isn't easy to do with another baby to chase after.  I am using the front pack a LOT.

For me, the transition to managing two has been tough. I think the logistics are what I struggle with the most.  How do I pick Riley up off of the table (she climbs on the table when we aren't looking) when I'm holding a screaming Nora?  How do I make Riley lunch while I'm nursing Nora?  How do I shower without subjecting Nora to a roaming Riley?  It really is tricky!  Nora pooped up to her neck the other day and somehow managed to get it on her face, which meant she needed a bath immediately.  As I was giving her a bath upstairs, Riley lost interest in the distraction I gave her and started climbing up the stairs (which she isn't good at yet).  Which was less dangerous?  Leaving an infant in a tub, or letting a wobbly toddler attempt the stairs?  

My other struggle is dealing with the repercussions of spending long chunks of time with the girls on my own.  Charley works long hours (although he has managed to come home on the earlier side recently, thank God) so I am alone with the girls from about 7am to 7pm. I love being a stay at home mother, but it is a long shift and it tests my patience.  Riley likes to push the limits (surprise surprise), and after saying no or stop so many time throughout the day, my words kind of lose their power with her.  I have to choose my battles (and there are quite a few to choose from) which means there are a lot of half eaten snacks around my floor, wallets emptied, refrigerator doors open... Sometimes it is hard to feel like a good or successful mother when you don't have a whole lot to show for it at the end of the day.  At least I keep them alive and fed, right? Even if it is off of grapes and gummy snacks?

Our evenings are the diciest time of day.  My energy is gone, Nora is fussy, and Riley is cranky.  Charley walks through the door and it really is go time until one goes to sleep... and even then we have to pass Nora back and forth until one of us is able to calm her down.  

I think we might need to instate date night ASAP.

Riley has become such a kind, gentle big sister.  She loves to give Nora her blankets and pacifier (and will shove it in her mouth until she takes it... or gags), shush her in the bouncy chair, and try to pick her up.  She calls Nora Wora and baby, and gets very worried when she cries.  She reacts negatively to attention directed at Nora much less frequently, and it is usually when she is just tired and needs a hug or a nap.

Also, Riley is in her parrot phase and is repeating everything we say (with her own version of some words).  Our favorite ones at the moment are "cheers" (cherz), "got it" (got got), "night night" (noy noyt) and "poop" (pooooooooop).  Language development is amazing and so much fun.

Overall, we are getting through this transition and I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  And when I hold my sweet, snoozing baby or laugh with my witty, communicative toddler, I know it is all worth it.

I am way behind in the photo taking department, but I am working on it. I am trying to get a good picture of Nora with her eyes open for a monthly stat photo!

Nora's Newborn Photos

Nora Frances - One Week Old

Sweet Baby Nora

And just like that we are a family of four.  On Friday, July 25th we welcomed our sweet little girl into the world and all of our hearts grew a little bit bigger. Life has been a busy blur of emotions since that day, and I hope I can capture it.

First and foremost, I can not imagine a better birth than Nora's.  Although Riley's was very normal and resulted in a healthy little munchkin, it was long, intense and painful.  Nora's on the other hand was quick and wonderfully painless. 

The day did not have the smoothest start.  My induction was scheduled for 7:30am, and after calling the hospital I was informed that there was a massive influx of babies being delivered that morning and it would be postponed for a while.  They eventually called back and said that if we rushed in they could take me as long as no other mothers arrived before I did. I was such a mess of nerves at that point (and hadn't slept a wink the night before) that I would have given anything to get it over with.  Needless to say, we rushed out the door.  

We were in our labor and delivery room by 9, but it took two more hours of waiting and staring at each other before they finally hooked my IV up and started the pitocin.  And then the waiting game only got worse.  Every 20 minutes or so the nurse would increase the amount of pitocin, but nothing, literally nothing, was happening.  I have never wanted to feel pain so much in my life!  Charley and I also felt like the nurses weren't doing much to move me along, which was just frustrating.  By 3pm, after four hours of pitocin with very few contractions, I lost it.  I started to doubt that the baby was supposed to be born, and felt that the induction was a bad idea.  Worse than the feeling of a failed induction, I missed Riley so much it hurt. Saying goodbye to her that morning was brutal, and my doubts in the process only amplified my feelings. Charley was doing everything possible to talk me off the ledge, but I was definitely losing it.

Then, just when I was about to ask them to take the IV out and send me home (which they obviously wouldn't do, but I thought I'd try), a doctor strolled in with a smile and told me they were going to get things moving.  Apparently there was a never ending wave of cesarean sections that morning and every doctor was tied up so the nurses were probably holding me off until things slowed down. 

So around 4:30 they broke my water, and by 5:30 I had an epidural put in.  And that is when I realized that the epidural I got with Riley simply didn't work, because this one was amazing.  I basically smiled and laughed my way through the next two hours of labor, and then after a few painless pushes Nora was born at 7:36pm weighing 8lbs 4oz and measuring 20 inches long.  It was perfect, and I am so thankful to have had such a good experience.  I remember looking at Charley several times and saying that this was unbelievable and I didn't believe that this could be childbirth.  It was such a positive experience that I actually said I would be okay having another baby minutes after Nora was born.  After Riley was born I think I said never, ever, ever again.

My first thought (and Charley's as well) when meeting our new little girl was that she seemed so incredibly sweet.  Everything about her just seemed so tender and gentle. So when Charley and I finally got to talking about names and the list of ideas we had, it was such an easy decision to go with Nora.  Our other names seemed too dramatic or strong... Nora was the perfect fit.  

Nora's middle name was also a no-brainer. Charley's grandfather Francis "Fran" Fitzgerald is a pillar in his life (and many others') and we couldn't think of another person we'd want to pay tribute to more.  The only thing left to determine was whether we go with the feminine spelling "Frances" or stick with Fran's spelling to the letter.  This was an easy decision - we would go with the "es" just like Charley's cherished Aunt Frances.

So welcome to the world sweet baby Nora!  Thank you for such a seamless entrance!

But life with a toddler and a newborn is anything but seamless. 

I knew it would have a big impact on Riley, but I couldn't have imagined how.  Whenever I nurse Nora, Riley becomes an emotional, sobbing puddle and it shatters my heart.  She doesn't understand what nursing is to begin with (maybe she thinks it hurts me?), but she really doesn't understand why my attention is elsewhere.  If she acted mad or frustrated, it'd be more manageable, but she acts hurt and sad... This is one of the biggest hurdles for me right now.  In a way it reminds me of the pain of sleep training - I'm putting my child through something incredibly difficult for a positive outcome in the long run... but the short term is so hard to handle.  I wish I could explain how hard it is to see her crocodile tears, but I don't have words for it.

Another thing that has been a bit of a challenge is our little Nora.  Not because she is a tough baby (she is anything but that...), but because she was diagnosed with hip displasia when she was born.  Apparently the position she was in inside the womb kept her hips from correctly connecting to the sockets.  I actually remember thinking it was bizarre that she was in the exact same position after each ultrasound, especially since Riley moved around constantly.  Nora just settled herself in a little too early and now has a bit of a tough road ahead of her.  On Tuesday we met with an orthopedic doctor and they immediately put her in a brace.  The brace goes from her shoulders to her toes, and keeps her hips in the right position to develop correctly.  She has to be in the brace 24 hours a day, and has to wear it for 6 weeks to 6 months depending on her progress.  

We are beyond thankful that we caught it early - if it went under the radar, she would have ended up with multiple surgeries and casts.  However, we are still adjusting to a routine with a newborn with an extra set of needs.  She can only wear onesies without legs, can't be bathed (except for the occasional sponge bath), can't be in certain positions when nursing or being held, etc.  Diaper changes take three times as long, and clothing changes are a very big ordeal.  In the grand scheme of things though, this is a minor issue in comparison to what so many other parents and babies go through.  We have to go to Children's Hospital for her orthopedic appointments, and it is gut wrenching to see some of the things that these innocent little angels go through, and their heartbroken parents trying to be strong.  I can't imagine...  

It is too early to tell what kind of baby Nora will be, but she has been such a good baby so far.  She loves being snuggled and held, but is also perfectly content being set down in her swing or bassinet.  She doesn't need to be bounced or swaddled to sleep (thank goodness because we can't swaddle her anyways!).  She barely cries, and when she does it is only because she is hungry or needs a diaper change so her crying is very short lived.  She is incredibly easy going and I don't think we could ask for much more.  

It really is taking a village to manage day to day life - both of my parents are here and there are moments when we are all a little overwhelmed by the tasks at hand.  Next weekend will be our first weekend as a foursome, and then that Monday I'll be on my own with two.  I know people do it... I just can't imagine how yet!

Well, one week down!  We love our little family more and more every day.  Happy one week Nora :)

 We are still working on a picture of Riley with the baby...  it has proven to be a difficult task.

Oh yeah...  not that I want to compare my daughters, but it is insane how similar they look!!! We took a look at the first few posts I put up of Riley and it is difficult to distinguish between the two at times.

Final Countdown...

D-12 Hours...

(Delivery minus 12 hours... but who are we kidding, it will be more than 12 hours)

Baby Poole #2 will be here tomorrow, and I am definitely all nerves at this point.  She isn't due until next Friday, but because of her size my doctor decided to induce me a week early.  I know ultrasounds aren't always accurate at measuring size, but according to one done four weeks ago this baby will be large.  She was supposedly 6.5 lbs (or 96%) a month ago. And given the fact that babies gain a half of a pound per week in the third trimester, I am looking at a BIG BABY.  It doesn't help that Riley was 8lbs 9oz and second babies are usually bigger. Great news for babies, not the greatest news for mom.

Going into an induction is a very odd experience.  Although there are some benefits of labor and delivery being planned (hospital bag will be packed and orderly, flights can be booked accordingly, etc.), I do think there are more when they are unplanned.  At this point I am finally starting to remember the painful details, the uncontrollable emotions, the healing process, and everything else that comes with having a baby.  Yes, epidurals are amazing, but they are also scary and quite painful to put in.  Holding your bundle of joy afterwards is magical, but sending them off to the nursery while you get a handle on pain medication is not-so-magical.  

There is some romance and a whole lot of excitement when you don't know the arrival time of your baby.  It is a bit more sterile with an induction.

The other issue I am dealing with is the Riley issue.  More than the thought of the painful process tomorrow, I am nervous about leaving her behind.  I feel like I'm betraying her. I know a baby will be hard for her to get used to... and she is so young and won't understand why I have to share her attention with somebody else. And I will miss her immensely. I have only had TWO days TOTAL without her EVER (yes, this is a little unnerving but what can I say, I'm attached). 

I just have to remember that the best gift a parent can give a child is a sibling.  All I have to do is imagine life without my brother to know this fact. She is getting a sister.  She is getting someone to play with, someone to learn to share with, someone to learn to fight with, someone to defend her and be her confidant, someone to team up on her parents with, someone to be her rock and possibly her maid of honor one day... I know this is a gift we are giving her.  I just want the transition to go smoothly.  I have been told that a little gift waiting at the hospital for her is helpful - I've bought 10. 

So right now I am trying to just stay calm and remind myself that I got through it once and will do it again.  More than that, I am trying to remember that I got Riley out of it all, and she just so happens to embody pure happiness and love and I'm certain I will feel it again.  I can't believe I'll have another daughter in less than a day.  I keep thinking I'll be having another Riley tomorrow, but I'll be having another person entirely different from Riley.  And I am so excited to meet her, and am praying that she will be healthy and happy... and will be a good sleeper.

And lastly, since this is the last blog I will write before baby #2, I should probably give Riley one last entry that focuses on her. 

Riley - 19 Months

In a nutshell, Riley has started to break out of her shell.  She is becoming this awesome little kid.  The change I have noticed most about her is her growing capacity for empathy and for emotion.  Instead of throwing a tantrum when told no, she gets emotional or worried that she has disappointed us.  She hides her face in her hands and tears well up in her eyes.  Although it is hard to see her feel bad, it is incredible watching her start to build her moral foundation.  She has a guilt complex already!  Now I am starting to think that my job will be to teach her not to feel guilty, but to be a proactively good person who thinks through their decisions ahead of time.  

When somebody is mean to her, she gets confused instead of angry.  It is almost as if she doesn't understand why somebody would take her toy, kick her, or throw something at her.  

We still have a lot of work to do with sharing (she does think she owns the world) and with being nice to the cat... but I'll take that over the tantrums.

Her language development and vocabulary are starting to take off - it is so much fun!  She tries to say pretty much every word that we teach her (although her versions of the words are quite unique and she doesn't necessarily remember them).  A few favorites right now are horse (course), cracker (acker), cloud (cood), dog (god), breakfast (toast), video (ay-oh), Sofia (ay-uh), flower (ow-uh), etc.

This age is tough because of the strong will, but it is sheer entertainment and joy.

She has become tall and lean - all of her (adorable) baby fat has melted away.  It makes me miss the squishiness of babyhood, but I also love knowing that she is an active, healthy, growing toddler.

Well, I think that is all I have the mental capacity to write down at this point (still all nerves for tomorrow) and I'm just going to add a few random pictures (in no order, unedited and primarily from my phone).

... the next post will be of the baby!!!!

Here we go again!

 This is Riley's "funny face"

 She loves pointing our her "eye eye"

 And "mou"

Slightly disturbing kids ride, but I had to put it up...

And a few pregnancy pictures for Baby #2

7.5 Months

8.5 Months

9 Months (yesterday)