Baby Steps in Boston: Final Countdown...

D-12 Hours...

(Delivery minus 12 hours... but who are we kidding, it will be more than 12 hours)

Baby Poole #2 will be here tomorrow, and I am definitely all nerves at this point. She isn't due until next Friday, but because of her size my doctor decided to induce me a week early. I know ultrasounds aren't always accurate at measuring size, but according to one done four weeks ago this baby will be large. She was supposedly 6.5 lbs (or 96%) a month ago. And given the fact that babies gain a half of a pound per week in the third trimester, I am looking at a BIG BABY. It doesn't help that Riley was 8lbs 9oz and second babies are usually bigger. Great news for babies, not the greatest news for mom.

Going into an induction is a very odd experience. Although there are some benefits of labor and delivery being planned (hospital bag will be packed and orderly, flights can be booked accordingly, etc.), I do think there are more when they are unplanned. At this point I am finally starting to remember the painful details, the uncontrollable emotions, the healing process, and everything else that comes with having a baby. Yes, epidurals are amazing, but they are also scary and quite painful to put in. Holding your bundle of joy afterwards is magical, but sending them off to the nursery while you get a handle on pain medication is not-so-magical.

There is some romance and a whole lot of excitement when you don't know the arrival time of your baby. It is a bit more sterile with an induction.

The other issue I am dealing with is the Riley issue. More than the thought of the painful process tomorrow, I am nervous about leaving her behind. I feel like I'm betraying her. I know a baby will be hard for her to get used to... and she is so young and won't understand why I have to share her attention with somebody else. And I will miss her immensely. I have only had TWO days TOTAL without her EVER (yes, this is a little unnerving but what can I say, I'm attached).

I just have to remember that the best gift a parent can give a child is a sibling. All I have to do is imagine life without my brother to know this fact. She is getting a sister. She is getting someone to play with, someone to learn to share with, someone to learn to fight with, someone to defend her and be her confidant, someone to team up on her parents with, someone to be her rock and possibly her maid of honor one day... I know this is a gift we are giving her. I just want the transition to go smoothly. I have been told that a little gift waiting at the hospital for her is helpful - I've bought 10.

So right now I am trying to just stay calm and remind myself that I got through it once and will do it again. More than that, I am trying to remember that I got Riley out of it all, and she just so happens to embody pure happiness and love and I'm certain I will feel it again. I can't believe I'll have another daughter in less than a day. I keep thinking I'll be having another Riley tomorrow, but I'll be having another person entirely different from Riley. And I am so excited to meet her, and am praying that she will be healthy and happy... and will be a good sleeper.

And lastly, since this is the last blog I will write before baby #2, I should probably give Riley one last entry that focuses on her.

Riley - 19 Months

In a nutshell, Riley has started to break out of her shell. She is becoming this awesome little kid. The change I have noticed most about her is her growing capacity for empathy and for emotion. Instead of throwing a tantrum when told no, she gets emotional or worried that she has disappointed us. She hides her face in her hands and tears well up in her eyes. Although it is hard to see her feel bad, it is incredible watching her start to build her moral foundation. She has a guilt complex already! Now I am starting to think that my job will be to teach her not to feel guilty, but to be a proactively good person who thinks through their decisions ahead of time.

When somebody is mean to her, she gets confused instead of angry. It is almost as if she doesn't understand why somebody would take her toy, kick her, or throw something at her.

We still have a lot of work to do with sharing (she does think she owns the world) and with being nice to the cat... but I'll take that over the tantrums.

Her language development and vocabulary are starting to take off - it is so much fun! She tries to say pretty much every word that we teach her (although her versions of the words are quite unique and she doesn't necessarily remember them). A few favorites right now are horse (course), cracker (acker), cloud (cood), dog (god), breakfast (toast), video (ay-oh), Sofia (ay-uh), flower (ow-uh), etc.

This age is tough because of the strong will, but it is sheer entertainment and joy.

She has become tall and lean - all of her (adorable) baby fat has melted away. It makes me miss the squishiness of babyhood, but I also love knowing that she is an active, healthy, growing toddler.

Well, I think that is all I have the mental capacity to write down at this point (still all nerves for tomorrow) and I'm just going to add a few random pictures (in no order, unedited and primarily from my phone).

... the next post will be of the baby!!!!

Here we go again!