Cappy's Cornah
Given all the publicity and critical acclaim that the Baby Steps in Boston blog has attracted
these past months, I thought it was about time that Dad got involved and
submitted a post. Now that you all
know it’s not Andrea writing, you’ve probably already moved on with your lives…but
for those still with us, here goes the first installment of “Cappy’s Cornah”.
One challenge for “Cappy’s Cornah” is that Andrea has done
such an incredible job with her weekly check-ins, and her descriptions of this
entire process (from pregnancy to parenthood) have been so spot on, that I’m
not sure I’ll have much to add. I
figured that rather than regurgitating all of Andrea’s points about how
adorable Riley is (true statement) and how tiring the long nights can be (we
need a nap), I would try to offer a slightly different spin and share some of
the more humorous moments from this whole experience.
Before I get into the lighter side of things, though, I just
want to echo what Andrea has expressed in terms of how perspectives on pretty
much everything have changed since Riley joined our world. I never thought that it was possible to
feel such an intense and immediate love for someone (or something) as I felt
for Riley since the moment she was in our arms, and I never would have dreamt
it possible that my feelings for Andrea could have been any stronger than they
already were (boy was I wrong). I
know we will spend the rest of our lives gushing over Riley, so I just want to
say that the word AMAZING does not even begin to describe her mom. Andrea hardly complained through 9 taxing
months of pregnancy (and without wine!), made 17 hours of labor and delivery
look easy (although she didn’t appreciate the doctors and nurses repeatedly
offering her this “compliment”), is a natural as a mom (Riley’s a lucky girl)
and an even better wife and friend (she still avoids waking me up for the 3am
shift, even though she knows I will sleep through pretty much anything if left
untouched). She’s absolutely the
best, and I will never be able to express in words how grateful I am that she’s
in my life and the little miracle that she made possible.
Now moving on to some stories…
Pregnancy
Dad-to-be books: There are some ridiculously OBVIOUS tips in these things. You mean I’m not supposed to tell my
pregnant wife that she looks fat?
Baby brain:
Let’s just say that pregnancy had its effects on Andrea. Like the time Andrea put a pint of ice
cream in the cupboard and a can of mixed nuts in the freezer. In her defense, the jars were similarly
sized.
Sympathy pains:
Don’t laugh, because the concept of men experiencing “sympathy” pains
during pregnancy is for real. I’m
not complaining, because I firmly believe that the human race would be
endangered if men had to give birth, but I’m just saying that the scale read
about 20-25 pounds more in month 9…when I was on it! Don’t worry…I’m almost back to my fighting weight.
Labor and delivery classes: First, the live-birth videos appeared about 25 years old,
which made me wonder where Paul (one of the featured babies) could possibly go
to prepare for his daughter’s birth without having to watch his “journey” in
front of 20 strangers? Second,
other dads-to-be were taking copious notes. Seriously, if you have to consult your notebook during labor,
you’re just asking to get screamed at (C’mon man!).
Late-night cravings: Andrea didn’t have many, but we
did make one trip 10 miles outside the city to the nearest Dairy Queen for a
Blizzard (or two...). The craving
itself wasn’t funny, but Andrea had no idea why I would suggest that an ice
cream shop might be closed in Boston in November (I think it was 20 degrees
outside…needless to say the parking lot was empty and the workers seemed
surprised to see us).
Parenthood
At the hospital: While I’m sure her assessment was accurate, I still got a
kick out of Andrea’s first words when she came back to our room from a
breastfeeding discussion that the hospital offered to moms on the postpartum
floor. Without a hint of sarcasm,
she excitingly informed me that “our baby is so much better than all the other
babies”.
New color scheme: All my Boston sports gear has been overshadowed by piles and
piles of PINK clothing (not mine, sadly).
I know, I know…we had a baby girl. But even the lint in the lint trap of our dryer is now PINK!
Moving down in the Power Rankings: I’m sure this will come as no surprise
to those who have read Andrea’s prior posts, but my position at the top of
Andrea’s list has now been overtaken.
Sad part is, I didn’t realize how bad it already was until this
interaction occurred when Andrea’s family was visiting over Christmas (note
that I was in the room, sitting directly next to Andrea):
Susan (looking over at Andrea as she was holding Riley): “Did you ever think it would be
possible to love someone this much?”
Andrea: “Not
even close.”
The room went silent, and everyone sort of looked to Andrea in
hopes that she would maybe recover and throw me a bone. After a few awkward seconds, Andrea
realized that everyone was looking for her to add something, and she obliged…
Andrea: “Well…I
mean there’s Wes, who I love, but this is different.”
Now I know where I stand…I’ll let it slide, though, because
both Riley and Wes (our cat) are pretty awesome. I’m happy to be third (I hope…).
Diaper dandy:
Andrea doesn’t like the idea of Riley’s diapers being featured on this
blog, but this is my post so I’m bringing it up anyways. For Andrea’s sake, though, I will spare
the graphic details. Just suffice
it to say that the moments between when we’ve removed the dirty diaper and
shuffle to get the clean one on, I am always reminded of a great Seinfeld quote when George said, “I can
never get the package open in time.
It’s like ‘Beat the Clock!’”
Wes: Wes
has been a great sport since he moved from #1 to #2 on Mom’s list (see above),
but he still has his moments where you can tell he’s had enough. It’s tough to describe in words, and
hopefully one day we’ll get a photo to share here, but there are times when
Riley’s screaming at the top of her lungs, and Wes just shoots a glance that
just says, “F--- this…I’m outta here” as he slowly makes his escape to a less
hostile environment.
That’s all for this time. As you can see, my blog posts are long just like my speeches
(as my family would probably attest), but I hope you enjoyed it. I’m certain that parenthood will
provide ample material, so hope to be back soon with some of the more
entertaining moments as Riley, Andrea and I continue this adventure together.
Charley
