A Merry First Month

One Month

We did it - the three of us made it to the one month mark with Riley.  I obviously never doubted that we would, but when you are living your life minute-by-minute, a month seems very far away.

Choosing to live minute-by-minute has been very comforting - reminding myself that we just need to figure out what is happening in the present and knowing that we will get through it is all it takes sometimes.  

During the day, I soak up every waking moment with Riley and couldn't get any more joy out of watching her observe her surroundings and learn to move her little limbs.  In the middle of the night it is a different story.  In the middle of the night when she eats, needs a change, finishes eating, needs another change, spits up, spits up a LOT, needs another change, wants to play, is hungry again, and then perhaps just needs a good cry, my patience wanes and I can't help but doubt my skills as a mother.  This is when I try to tell myself that she will fall asleep, we will make it through the night, and this phase will  pass.

This past week has been amazing - Christmas is wonderfully different and magical with a baby around.  My family has been staying with Charley and I, and we laugh that it takes a village to take care of her.  It has been such a relief to have five sets of arms to bounce her, swing her and love her.

The other day I went through RIley's closet and began packing away all of her newborn clothes - this little one is less little!  Of course the new emotional version of myself burst into tears. At her three-week appointment, Riley weighed 9lbs 11oz.  The pediatrician said I have great fat content in my milk (thanks I think?).  

Although I am wishing this sleepless phase away, I am already wishing the clock to slow down. I can't wait to spend another month getting to know her and continue figuring out what makes her tick (and hopefully figure out how to get her to sleep!). 

January will be an eventful month - she'll get to meet all of her new aunts from the West Coast (and her little buddy Oliver).  This proud mama can't wait!

Three Weeks with Riley

Three Weeks

I really cannot believe I have had my daughter for three weeks already - sometimes I can't wrap my head around how quickly it has gone by, and other times it feels like she's been with us forever.

This past week has been incredibly challenging and incredible all at the same time.  Riley seems to love life the most in the middle of the night, so she spends a solid two to four hours awake (usually between 2am and 4:30/5:00am).  And of course she prefers to be held and bounced (a mechanical swing or bouncy chair just won't do!), so she has some very tired parents.  The first few weeks of sleeplessness seemed manageable for Charley and I, but the lack of sleep is compounding...  I wish I was better at napping so that I was better equipped to handle the evenings.  

Aside from the expected sleep issue, I love Riley and motherhood more and more each day. Her eyes are wider and brighter and I can't get enough of them - when she is awake and alert, I tend to stop whatever I'm doing just to stare at those eyes.  She loves to gaze at lights, especially the ones on the Christmas tree.  This week she started locking eyes with us - my stomach flipped the first time she did it.

I thought she smiled at me for the first time today, but I realized very quickly that it was at the Christmas tree lights behind me.  

Although I wish she would sleep when I wanted her to, I truly cannot wait to go get her when she wakes up.  If she sleeps too long or is upstairs with somebody else, the anticipation of holding her builds. I didn't know it was possible to miss someone so much when they are just feet away from you, but it is true.  

I can't wait to spend Christmas with her, introduce her to the rest of our family, and celebrate the beginning of a new year.  This past one has been such a wild and wonderful ride - we got married, got Wes (can't forget him), moved to Boston, started new jobs (mine is at home currently!), and welcomed our baby girl.  I feel so fortunate for the life that I have and look forward to what the future brings.  

Merry Christmas and happy 2013!

This little one knows how to get comfy...

This was moments before she began to scream at a volume that could have shattered windows - she just wanted to be picked up

 This might be my favorite picture of the year.  We tried to get a picture of the three cousins together - guess who wanted NOTHING to do with it.  Not sure if Riley didn't like being naked, didn't like the bow on her head, or was just simply angry at the world. James and Bonnie were great sports as Riley protested very, very loudly.

Two Weeks with Riley

Two Weeks 

Looks like I'm back to counting life in weeks!

These past two weeks with Riley have been unimaginable.  This tiny creature is teaching me humility and love in a way that I've never experienced.  Each moment is foreign and beautiful, and I could not feel more blessed.  There have been endless moments where I wonder how I am so lucky to be this little girl's mother.  She makes everything so much more meaningful and different.  Songs have a different meaning to them (I no longer think only of Charley when gushy songs come on - sorry Charley!), time and days are framed differently, food is no longer for pleasure (there is so little time to savor it), sleep seems like a gift from the gods... but above all else, every moment feels new because it is new to Riley.  I can't help myself but think that a rainy day is her first rainy day, and a trip to the grocery store is her first trip...  everything feels new to me because it is all so genuinely new to her, and I am so thankful that I get to experience all of these firsts with her.  In many ways it feels like I am getting a chance at a second childhood through her, but this time I will actually remember it all.  This experience is bringing about a feeling of nostalgia.

The past two weeks have also been hard - she has brought me to my knees...  I've never felt exhaustion like this before.  Riley is eating every 45 minutes to 3 hours, so rest in between is difficult to come by.  I also wasn't prepared for my own period of healing as well as the pain that comes with breastfeeding.  I guess nature can be a bit cruel like that - it'll give you the most important and challenging responsibility of your life while also putting your body through one of the most physically demanding experiences you'll ever face. But it is so very worth it. 

Life is good.  It is so good... and I can't believe I get to do this.  I just love Riley so much, and thank God every day for her.

Favorite pieces/moments of motherhood: seeing new facial expressions each day, watching for glimpses of family members in her features, listening to lullaby stations on Pandora, the smell of baby lotion, cuddling with her when she is wearing a cozy onesie, knowing that this baby is ours and I don't have to give her back to anyone...

Unexpected, comical and challenging aspects of motherhood:the amount of laundry I do for her, the amount of sleep we aren't getting, the worry I feel for her, the pressure of driving safely with this precious cargo, the difficulty of finding time to make a phone call or take a shower, the doubts I sometimes have in myself as her caregiver...

I'm not the best photographer, but here are a few photos from Riley's first two weeks!

Riley Jeanne Poole

Riley Jeanne Poole

November 28, 2012 - 6:19pm

8lbs 9oz

Last week Charley and I welcomed our not-so-little bundle of joy to the world. I will share her birth story very soon, but here are a few pictures of her first week with us. We have loved getting to know this little munchkin - she has such a sweet and spicy personality (and clearly loves to sleep).  All I can say is I didn't think it was possible to feel this happy.  We love you Riley!